Murphy’s Law | The river reporter
By JONATHAN CHARLES FOX
If you haven’t heard of the old saying, it’s pretty simple, straightforward, and gets right to the point: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” “
I’m not sure Murphy’s Law serves as a thematic undercurrent in my personal life, but I’m also not exactly a half-full glass guy, so when things turned out as they did. did it last Sunday, I shouldn’t have been surprised. That, plus the fact that I never claimed to have the gift of “second sight” – the supposed ability to perceive future or distant events – also known as clairvoyance.
Still, I should have known something was wrong. When I called to make an appointment for a free “reading” at a Psychic Fair somewhere in Sullivan County last week, the connection between me and the people on the other end of the phone was less than. limpid. When asked for the name of the medium I was looking to get a date with, I responded by saying that I was outside and had to enter the house to retrieve the name I was looking for. ‘had written on a piece of paper. “What?” the man said on the phone. “Are you on the porch?” He asked. “Just come in,” he continued. “Why are you calling us if you are here?” “
“No,” I replied, “I’m not outside your building. I’m just outside. Home, I explained. “In another city altogether.”
“Sir, sir,” he said, clearly confused and exasperated. “Wait, I’m going to entrust you to someone else who can help you.” He transferred my call to someone else, but they also had a hard time understanding where I was or what I wanted.
“Am I not clear? I asked, more than a little confused. “Your ad says ‘call for a date’, and that’s what I do, but it looks like I’m not communicating very well. I hope the deceased relatives that I hope to reach on the other side are less confused.
It didn’t go very well, or maybe my comment went over her head, but after too much back and forth we established that I had an appointment for 5:30 pm ” This is the psychic’s last reservation for the day, so don’t be late! I was warned, as well as: “If you want to pay with a credit card, it has to be now, by phone, otherwise it should be done. ‘is cash only at the door’.
I agreed to these terms, stating that I would be ready with cash on hand, but she felt it necessary to repeat this particular clause two more times, pointedly to drive home the point. “Got it,” I replied happily. “See you later.”
A few days later, army of money “that put a hole in my pocket” as Mom would say, I got there early, as directed, and did some light shopping at a gift store just on the other side. across the street. At a store widely known in the area for an incredible assortment of sweets and unique gifts, I walked the aisles and selected a few things, with one eye on the time and another on the sugary confections that taunted me, since the sugar is not something I normally eat. “Oh, what can that hurt?” I thought as I grabbed a gourmet candy bar that had chocolate, bacon, and chips as the main ingredients.
As expected my phone alarm went off half an hour before the scheduled time and I paid for my forbidden sweets and crossed the road to check in as directed.
“I don’t see your name here,” I was told by the nice lady at the door. “Did you call him? With a sigh, I replied in the affirmative by pointing to his list, filled with strange boxes, graphics and symbols, many of which were crossed out or written on top, including the name “John” scribbled in letters. Lilliputian in size. – I guess it’s me, I say. “My name is Jonathan, and it is next to the psychic medium that I wish to consult.”
“Alright,” she said. “Will it be in cash or in charge?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “I was told in no uncertain terms that there was no way I could use a credit card at the door – more than once.” She looked at me blankly and asked again. “Cash,” I replied sullenly. “I’ll pay in cash. “
“Hope you don’t mind, but we’re a little late. Are you okay if you have to wait a few minutes? “
“Of course, no problem,” I replied, after learning that there were chairs set up outside the venue where the Psychic Fair was taking place. I could see my chosen medium doing his thing from afar, and as I waited patiently, I observed others reading tarot cards, swinging pendulums, and rubbing stones embellished with runes to aid their efforts. connect with loved ones, or see the future, I guess.
As expected, 5:30 am came and went. Thirty minutes later, I saw the person in front of me shake hands and leave the midrange table, leaving room for me, the guy waiting patiently (in my humble opinion) for his turn. Before I could approach, someone else sat down, so I walked over, apologizing for the intrusion. “Sorry,” I said, “but I think I’m next.”
“Oh?” was the response of the young woman taking place. “My appointment was at 5:15 pm and I’ve been waiting 45 minutes.
Shaking my head, I wondered how she could have a half-hour date scheduled fifteen minutes before mine, but I stole away, returning to the ticket booth for another frustrating conversation. The result was full of excuses and I was told unequivocally that my chosen medium was “already sold out” and that there would be no reading for me that day.
“I’m sorry,” said the nice lady, “But the only thing I can do is refund your money. Did you pay with a credit card or was it cash? “
Dejected, depressed, disappointed and a little pissed off, I returned home, another half hour away. In total, I have spent three hours of my life not getting a psychic reading and wondering aloud how none of the people involved could have predicted this outcome. I don’t blame the nice lady at the door, I don’t blame the exhausted medium … I don’t blame anyone. “I guess it’s just one of those things that no one could see coming,” I told the dog. “Not even a fair overflowing with mediums, it seems. Guess I have to attribute it to Murphy’s Law.
Fun Fact: The first known use of the term “Murphy’s Law” dates back to 1951 and is attributed to its invention by the American engineer Edward A. Murphy.