Dear Stavroula,

I am almost 30 years old and have been single for many years. A few months ago I decided to use Tinder because my social life was limited and I didn’t know how to meet anyone else. I work from home, don’t go out often, as I’m a bit overweight and have autoimmune issues, so with the pandemic I was very careful.

Indeed, thanks to the application, I met a man much older than me, with whom, while chatting, I felt that I could really communicate. My problem is that even though our relationship started very simply and only for a date, I started to fall in love with him. We have met sometimes and I think he is also interested because he texts me several times a day and we talk at least once a day with a video call. When we’re together I have a great time with him, but when we’re not together I’m tormented by the thought that maybe this relationship isn’t what I think it is, or at least what it is. seems. Also, I don’t know of anyone who met a partner through such an app and the relationship continued. On the other hand, I’m afraid to tell him about my feelings, because although he is very nice and tender with me, he didn’t tell me that he felt anything for me other than that he liked me. and that I didn’t want to scare him and probably lose him. I would like your opinion on whether such relationships can last.

Thalia

Dear Thalia,

In recent years, dating apps have been widely used and by all ages. And although they initially started with the main goal of finding sexual partners, many have met their other half through such apps.

After all, with the spread of the pandemic and the lockdown, people’s social lives have been tragically curtailed and these apps have filled the void to some extent.

Just because you met your partner this way doesn’t mean this relationship is doomed, at least not any more than any other relationship. Although dating through apps is usually meant for casual hookups, there are times when even though the relationship started out that way, it turned into an emotional bond. Also, just because two people are sexually compatible doesn’t mean they can’t find other reasons to continue being together. Indeed, sometimes the feeling of loving liberation and the intimacy that is created can help two people to get closer, even on the psychic, emotional level.

However, it might help to clarify within you what is bothering you and preventing you from enjoying the current relationship. Is it something that is due to the behavior of the person you are interested in? Do you have any evidence that he may be different than he seems, for example, that he has another relationship? Are you concerned about specific behaviors that might be hiding something else? Do you feel like something is missing or something is wrong?

If so, observe your partner and their behavior more carefully. Discuss your concerns with someone you trust and ask them to tell you how they see things. This will likely help you better understand the situation and make your own decisions.

If not, you have to think for yourself. Why are you hesitant to express your feelings? Is it generally a characteristic of your personality? Has anything happened in your previous relationships that makes you doubt your own feelings? Don’t you think they are clear?

Also, what makes you worried that if you tell your man how you feel, he might leave? Why might this create distance between you instead of bringing you closer?

However, you may need to have an honest discussion about your expectations for both in the relationship. This is important to clear up misunderstandings and perhaps shed some light on some dark spots. It can be good to clarify if you will be in an exclusive relationship and if it will be more than casual, so you both know what to expect from each other.